The Internet is for Morons
by Ocarina Hero
Summary: Ike discovers the magical wonders of the internet and online gaming, Marth tries to get him away from it by telling him it's an evil magic box out to posses him. When Marth and Ike make a bet to prove themselves, Marth ends up becoming addicted to the internet and it's wonders. May become rated T later on
1. The Bet

A/N Hello! This is the first fanfiction I'm writing in a very long time, so forgive me if it's a bit off at some parts. I'm planning to make more chapers after this one, it's going to be my first attempt at a multi chaptered story(yay!) so please be nice. I hope you enjoy this story! Any rewiews will be appreciated.

It was a peaceful day at the Smash Mansion, the home to all brawlers and assist trophies from around the foreign worlds. Today happened to be one of those rare Spring days that come around only once in a lifetime. The sun was shining brightly, light clouds traced across the sky, the air had a pleasant coolness to it. It was the perfect temperature and the perfect day, such a day should be spent outdoors to enjoy as did most of the Brawlers, even the villains were enjoying this day outdoors chatting in the cool shade of the trees. It was a setting right out of one of those chessy happy fairy-tale stories where everything was perfect. Who would waste such a day?

None of this touched a blue headed mercenary as he sat in the dark confinement of his room. With curtains drawn tightly across his windows so there was no trace of illumination but the blinking screen of his laptop as he furiously typed away words at the speed of a seasoned internet surfer. His face was practically shoved against the screen at an unreasonable distance as his squinted eyes scanned the information on the white screen. Ike has only recently learned about the internet and it wonders from Snake. He was amazed by the technology or "magic box" as he called it since back in his world no such things existed, and anything of the such that did exist that was unexplainable was concluded to be magic. After a few computer lessons from Snake, he was able to search the vastness on the internet on his own. The magic box amazed him. He had the whole world in his hands with a single click of a button, a wonder that was not possible for him before. It made him absolutely giddy with excitement. The power than came along with this magical tool.

In his exploration Ike had learned about online gaming, social websites, and Google(which he pronounced "goo-gull- eh". The assassin was not able to comprehend a few things, but he was still determined to learn it all. Who needs sleep and showers anyway? If it's for the sake of knowledge, he refuses to say addiction, it's alright. His old mentor said so himself. And so did many other scholars from his world, who's to say they were wrong? Ike pressed closer to the screen of the computer and scrunched his face in concentration just as his door flew open from a powerful kick causing light to spill in the room.

Ike flinched at the foreign light and fell over the edge of his bed just to land on his head at an abnormal angle. "My eyes!" he hissed as he shielded his eyes from the light. Marth, the intruder, rolled his eyes and stomped over at Marth to glare down at him accusingly, hands on his hips in a feminine fashion. Ike removed his hand to squint up at Marth.

"You ****! Haven't you ever heard of a thing called knocking! Can't you see I'm busy!" Ike yelled angrily as he stood slowly to balance himself.

"Yeah, busy wasting your life away on that idiot box. Haven't you seen what time it is, more importantly, what DAY it is?" asked Marth. Ike looked at him dumbfoundedly. Marth sighed. He really needed to get better friends. "It's been 2 days since you've come out of this room!" he yelled.

Ike looked away and scratched his head not seeing what the big idea was. He isn't open minded when he is opposed "So? I told you I was going to be busy." he mumbled as his eyes wandered along the ceiling tracing an imaginary figure with his eyes in distraction.

"Busy? You consider this an occupation? You must be more impaired than I thought, this is a waste of life. It's evil, now, get off that thing and come outside! It's a beautiful day, it's absurd to be inside." Marth grabbed Ike by his cloak to drag him outside. Ike refused to leave his room and stood his ground.

"You can't tell me what to do!" He yelled as he slowly backed away tugging his cloak along. Such childish behavior was not common for the mercenary, and Marth knew this. Marth frowned and tugged back at the cloak.

"Can't you see it's for your own sake you moron? Just look at yourself, you're a hideous unclean mess! Come on, if you saw yourself now you'd know what I mean." he said. Marth looked at the laptop resting on his bed and reached to take it away. If Ike would go anyplace this magic box went, then he'd surely be able to draw him out using it. Ike sensed Marth's plan and jumped at the laptop to grab it before he had a chance to shield it in a possessive/insane hug. He hissed at Marth "Mine! You can't touch it it's minee!" he yelled.

Marth looked at his friend like he was a madman. Either the magic box had possessed him with its temptations, or Ike was a bigger idiot than he imagined. Both possibilities were highly likely knowing what a weak mind Ike had. Marth raised his arms in defeat, or hopefully to keep a rabid Ike from attacking him

"Okay Okay I get it! It's your box, I won't touch it. But seriously you need to get out of this room. It's not healthy." He said. Ike peered at him as he sat at the edge of the bed, stroking his laptop. He liked his magic box and didn't want to give it up just yet.

"But I like my box. I haven't even gotten a chance to search the stuff I wanted to." Ike said. The Altean prince sighed at his poor friend.

"Look, there will be time for that later, but now you HAVE to come outside or I will swear to the heavens I will destroy that confounded box of yours until no sorcery can ever repair it." Marth threatened. Ike tightened his grip around the laptop and shook his head.

"No. I'm still not going. Crush my device and I will feed your tiara to Kirby."

Marth opened his mouth to reply but shut it. That threat was not empty of meaning. Kirby was a small bubblegum-thing that had the guts of a black hole. Anything unfortunate to trespass was lost forever and sent to god knows where. Heck, Marth remembered once asking the small thing where exactly all the things he ate went but even he didn't know. How could he not know? Anyways, if his prized tiara were to be swallowed by Kirby the chances of him getting it back were in the negatives. And Marth surely didn't have the courage to get swallowed by Kirby to retrieve it any day.

Ike continued to hug his laptop "That's right, you can't touch me. Your tiara is too precious pretty boy."

Marth flinched at hearing his nickname. He absolutely hated it when anyone called him that. He did not wear a "tiara" it was a sacred artifact of his family which should be respected. Sure he did use Loreal shampoo and conditioner to keep his hair the way it was and sure he liked to use moisturizer everyday but that was normal. To him anyway.

"Don't call me that! I have a name to be addressed by!" He said frustrated. "Come on just come out already."

"It's not like YOU have any idea how good the internet is, how fun and interesting it is. You're a brick. You never do anything fun." said Ike.

Marth not fun? That was ridiculous. "This is anything but fun. Wasting your life is anything but fun. damaging yourself is anything but fun. Watching personality eroding programs is not fun."

"That's exactly what a boring person would say." retorted Ike.

"But-"

"Booorriinngggg brick!" Ike yelled loudly causing Marth to wince "There's no fun without adrenaline! That's why people never have fun with chess, only nerds."

"That is prejudiced! It can be fun, just because your tiny mind can't understand the complexities doesn't give you the right to hate it."

Marth suddenly got a plan to get him out. From what he knew Ike was a bit of a narcissist(that was a bit of an understatement) that had pride more than anything. He was capable of doing anything just to support it, even if it meant he would embarrass himself in the process. This mindless determination to prove himself was just what Marth was going to use against him. Ike was a brute so there was a good chance he would take the bait. Marth prided himself for a moment for his "briliant" idea.

"If you don't want to come out it just means you're addicted and you don't have the strength or will power to get off it." Marth said.

Ike frowned. "I can come out if I wanted to! I just don't feel like it because I don't wanna."

Marth grinned. "If that's what you wanna think so be it. But to me, it just looks like you're too weak to let go because you're addicted. It's a shame really. Just pathetic."

Ike frowned "I'm not weak!"

"you sure look like it too me, you poor, sad man."

"I'm not the sad one, you're the sad one because you can't take a thrill! You're uptight and never do anything fun like the internet! You're just jealous I'm more fun than you." Ike proclaimed, having turned the tables on Marth's plan. He was too stubborn.

Marth was taken aback by this "You are so NOT more fun than me! I can use that idiot box if I wanted to but unlike you, I have a life and better things to do. I am a fun fun person!"

Ike laughed "Yeah right. Like read books in a dark corner by yourself? That's not fun at all. I actually feel sorry for you."

"That's what I should say about you!" The Altean was growing frustrated. Marth shared a similar trait to Ike's, the need to prove himself. Though his was significantly less than Ike's, it was still there. It took a lot to anger the usually calm and collected Altean Prince. Marth being the one affected did not notice this though.

"You know what Ike? How about a deal. I will prove to you that I can use that idiot box for a week! But in return, you have to prove to me that you have the self control to avoid any black magic items for an entire week!"

"This is a trick isn't it?' asked Ike.

"I am a prince and a man of my word" said Marth, Altean pride clear in his words. "Why, I swear it upon my mother's grave this is no trick."

For Marth to wish something upon the grave of, well anyone, was serious jizz. Ike knew this. He pondered Marth's challenge for a moment.

"I accept your challenge then Marth." He stood and as much as the action pained his heart, soul, and mind, he handed Marth his precious.

"Bring it."


	2. Zelda's Brilliant Advice

_A/N FINALLY chapter 2! It's not like anyone was actually looking forward to it, but here it is 3 months later. I kinda lost(got lazy) inspiration after writing the first chapter, but I hope to write the 3rd chapter soon after this one. It's kinda short, but tada ^-^_

NEXT DAY

Marth grumbled under his breath as he walked down the halls of the Smash Mansion with Ike's laptop in his hand. His gloved hand might I add, Marth didn't dare touch it with his delicate (rather girly) hands. Marth had been kicking himself all day for making that stupid bet with Ike. He never intended to make any bet of sorts to get him out of his room. He only intended to trick him into getting out by himself, though that brilliant plan failed since Ike had to be stupid. Yes, that's what he was. Now poor Marth had to use Ike's stupid contraption for an entire week. How long he doesn't know since he forgot to specify in his fit, but non the less it would be excruciating. He didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on or how to open it. He would back out of it if he could but he already swore it to his mother's grave he'd use that thing for a week. It was serious business for someone of royal blood to say it. He could just picture in his head his sweet mother giving him a good beating for what he had done.

He sighed and kept walking. Where he was walking, he didn't know either. He was just hoping for a strike of luck that someone, anyone would put him out of his misery. Or perhaps a good tutor to tell him how exactly to use the magic box. But who did he know that was skilled in magic... Marth snapped his fingers in enlightenment "I know just the person!"

-~LATER~- -

The Hylian princess Zelda jumped out of her chair and almost threw her book in*startled by the sudden knock on her door. Zelda was in her reading zone. No one bothered Zelda in her reading zone, when she was anyone near her ended up burned by Din's fire. Zelda composed herself setting the book on the small table besides the chair and rushed to open the door for her visitor.

"H-hello" said a flustered Marth, still catching his breath and leaning against the door frame for support. Zelda took the sight in confusion, wondering what the prince was so flustered about.

"Hello Marth... Is something wrong?" she asked. Marth was still catching his breath and took a moment until he could speak.

"I need help.. with magic... made a stupid bet... now I need to use a magic contraption... swore it on my mothers grave."

Zelda gasped. For someone of royal blood to swear something upon anyone's grave was extremely serious. This must have been a deal of great importance he made. Zelda could relate, being also of a royal descent. She ushered Marth in her room eager to assist him with his issue.

Marth entered the room and sank gratefully into one of her soft chairs while Zelda brought him a glass of water. Marth chugged it down and after letting it all settle for a while, he composed himself enough to speak properly.

"May you please tell me more about this grave matter of yours?" Zelda asked seriously. Marth shew her the thin laptop in his gloved hand to observe and she looked at it in wonder.

"My what an item. I've never read of any contraption such as this in the ancient magic Hylian Texts."

"Yes, me either. I was hoping that you, with your magic expertise, could show me how to wield it? You are the only one who can help."

Zelda took the laptop delicately with her gloved hands and began to observe the outside

of the contraption. She flipped it over and began to examine the tag glued on to the back of the laptop. Marth watched the princess carefully. Zelda's eyes lit up and she flipped it back over. "Well, I have some ideas to activate it. It seems it has some kind of an activation code on the back. I just have to find the right spell to go along with the code to activate it."

"That...is... BRILLIANT! How didn't I think of this before it's so elementary now that you say it!" Said Marth happily. Zelda smiled. "So now the problem is just which spell do we use?"

"Well, there are a variety of magic we can try. There are electric current magic, water magic, fire magic, blue jelly glob potion, red potion, it can go on and on."

"Hmm... why don't we try a red potion first? It does have positive healing and restoration properties, so it can't hurt to try it first. Just to see if liquid can activate it. Actually now that I recall, I did see Ike with red potions when he used it."

"Sounds like a plan." said Zelda. She stood and walked over to a cabinet at the back of her room an opened it to reveal shelves packed with potions. "Link is sometimes too busy or forgets to take potions with him, so I keep a small amount here for him in case of emergencies" she explained. Zelda took a red potion off a shelf and walked back to Marth. She opened the potion and took the laptop back. She then motioned for Marth to move away before outstretching her arm to keep the laptop a distance from her.

"This is the tricky part. Whatever happens, we must stay calm." Marth gulped and backed up a bit more. Zelda carefully tipped the potion over the laptop and waited a few seconds before the laptop made a loud electrical sound. Zelda shrieked and dropped it to the floor as it gave off electrical currents. "Wrong code... WRONG CODE!"

As if on cue Link knocked her door down like a true hero and looked around the room with sword in hand poised to attack. "ZELDA! What is it who did it?!" Link's eyes then fell upon the short circuit, malfunctioning twitching laptop on the ground. Link winced. It was his arch enemy, besides Gannondorf. Technology. He had a score to settle with that dastardly thing. "That THING again! I had enough of them already in the Lanyaru desert! Back away Zelda it's highly dangerous!" Link charged at the laptop ready to smash it just when Marth jumped in front of it to protect it.

Poor Marth. We can imagine how that ended up.


	3. Emergency rooms and a whole lot of error

_A/N Well here's the next Chapter like I promised! It was a bit rushed, but I really wanted to get it out there. I almost got a heart attack a while ago, I saved it onto my computer after I finished editing it and the whole thing just erased itself! But luckily thanks to the back button, I got it all back. Any reviews will be appreciated, thank you! _

Math came out of the Emergency Room a few hours later, thanks from 's expertise, with 18 stitches, a neck brace and an eye patch. Running in front of an enraged swordsman wasn't the brightest idea he ever had. Then again neither was making this ridiculous bet that started it all. But in moments of desperation, there is nothing you can do but rely on reflexes and impulses, even though more than half the time it ends badly. It's a risk you have to be willing to take. Well at least the laptop was still somehow unscratched(besides the red potion) in the midst of all the chaos, Ike would have killed him if he had ruined it.

But now he was brought back to the problem he began with, how to make this thing function. Asking Zelda with magical assistance was an epic failure, and she was the only magical genius in the entire Smash Mansion. Well, there was also Lucario, but he was a bit of an odd ball. If Zelda couldn't make the box function, it can only mean one thing. She isn't as good as she thinks she is. No, Marth was being rude by thinking that. Zelda was the princess of a magical kingdom in a magical world filled with faries and elves. She couldn't be wrong, magic is in her blood. So if her magic didn't work, it could only be the magic box was actually not magical. But then if it wasn't magic, what would it be? What else could explain it? He sighed and continued walking down the halls. If only the gods high above could help him now and send him a messenger, an angel of hope to help him in his moment of crisis.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM PERVERT!" Samus' vicious scream was followed by an earsplitting explosion. The hall was clouded with dust from the pulverized walls and furniture as the beams got louder and louder. Marth sighed. It was probably Snake again. In this mansion, Snake was known for two things: Having a horrible smoking addiction and a strange and rather creepy obsession with Samus Aran. At least once a week he'd try to serenade her with terrible songs and poorly written poems or by breaking into her room, which were usually replied with a kick to the face. Snake never stopped, he took it as "a feisty personality". If that's not sad enough, Snake has a personal Samus collection. A strand of her hair, a piece of food she chewed, the shoe that she kicked him with and tried to burn because it was "contaminated by idiocy". Marth would feel sorry for him, but that's too strange and desperate to deserve any compassion.

Snake appeared through the fog, crawling in desperation to get away from the mad woman while clutching his half burned box in one hand, reluctant to let it go. It was his only friend. At that moment Samus blew half the hallway into smithereens and turned to give Snake a murderous glare that would make Gannondorf run.

A vicious and slightly predatory smile creeped across her face as she saw poor defenseless Snake trying to crawl away. You could see the vibes of revenge emitting off her.

"Thought you could get away from me eh? Thought you could sneak into my room unharmed did you?!" She raised the giant bazooka in her hand far to big for any normal person to carry and pointed it at Snake and the narrow hallway. "Now you will suffer in HELL!" At that moment Marth knew he was screwed, and ran like he has never ran before.

Her bazooka lazor fired like it would in one of those slow-motion movies, the explosion was so loud Marth couldn't hear himself think as he threw himself clutching the laptop to his chest as he took the full blown of the explosion. That was going to leave a mark.

-Later-

Marth walked out of the emergency room for the second time on that day, this time thanks to again, with 10 brand new stitches, 4 of them in a very uncomfortable place, a busted lip, bandages on his arm and on his forehead, where he had a bump that made him look like a deformed unicorn. The laptop was still somehow unharmed, through all this time.

"Hey, hey you" said a familiar voice from behind. Marth turned to see who it was and saw Snake, equally injured as him leaning against the wall not knowing if for support for his broken bones or just to look cool. "What's that you have there pretty boy?"

Marth was about to snap a witty retort at him before he realized Snake meant the magic box. "Wait, you know what this is?"

"Sure do." said Snake, taking the laptop from his hands to look it over. "It looks like a 150 gb Dell laptop to me, it's in terrible condition too,and it's all sticky." Marth blinked having no idea what the first part meant.

"So, do you know how to use it?" He asked.

"Of course! Who would I be if I couldn't use a simple laptop? Wait- you want to know how to use it?"

Marth nodded. "I'm in a bit of a pinch right now. I made a a bet with Ike and swore it on my mother's grave."

"Oooh a bet." said Snake. He knew that when someone of royal blood swore something on their relative's grave it meant something serious, or something like that, he couldn't remember. Then again no one really payed attention when Marth drabbled on and on and on about the old country, screw that when you have technology, cars, and guns. "I've been in one of those once. You know, I'm feeling generous today so I think I'll help ya, just like I helped Ike. Buuut of course, it comes with a price" He said as he took a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lit it.

Marth was in no position to object. This was a stroke of luck, he had to accept. The possibility of him finding another tutor who actually knew about it was slim. He pondered it for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Fine, I shall carry whichever humiliating task you ask for."

An evil grin spread across Snake's face and Marth instantly began regretting his decision. That's just what he needed, another stupid bet."Glad to hear it Marth, first we need to go to the library, it's easier to show you there without all the maniacs around."

And Snake and Marth made their way to the computer room. They arrived a few minutes later and went to sit over at a table. Marth pulled up two chairs and placed the laptop on the table before sitting down and waiting to hear what Snake had to say. He had a bad feeling sitting at the bottom of his stomach, but he couldn't quite point why. Snake dragged the chair next to Marth's allowing the feet of the chair to scrape noisily along the ground making an obnoxious sound that made Marth's eye twitch. After pulling it back he dropped himself onto the chair and began to stare intensely at the laptop laptop for a moment. Marth looked at him wondering what the heck Snake was trying to accomplish by doing this. After a moment of deep thought and assessment, Snake pulled a cigarette out from his shirt pocket and lit it with his lighter, sticking it into his mouth.

"Umm Snake? Is this part of the ingenious way to use this device?" Asked Marth genuinely confused. Snake drew the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled of puff of smoke straight into the Altean's face. "Nah, I'm just trying to look cool."

Marth coughed and batted the smoke away with his hands. What a jerk! The nerve of this man! But Marth was in no position to complain. He was in need of a tutor, and this was the best the Smash Mansion had to offer.

"Enough dilly-dallying, use this lap top instead, I don't trust your piece of crap laptop so I'll let you use my highly expensive laptop made in Japan." Snake put his brand new shiny golden laptop on the table. "Pay attention. First, you open the laptop," said Snake as he opened the laptop to reveal the screen and keyboard. Marth watched closely in concentration, not blinking just in case he'd miss a crucial piece of information if he did.

"Second, you turn it on." Snake said pressing the red button close to the screen. A little hallelujah jingle played as the screen lit up. Marth pushed himself away and drew his sword, looking all around frantically. "Where did that come from?!" Snake sighed. "Calm yourself down, it's just the computer. It has built in speakers that you can hear music with." Marth blinked not understanding. Snake sighed "It's a magical little tool that lets you magically hear things out of nowhere."

Marth nodded understanding and sat down. "Good Altean." The screen lit up showing Snake's wallpaper and Marth gasped in horror. "I-is that Samus?!" He covered his mouth from brain overload at the sight and pointed at the screen in horror "Oh my god, what is she doing?! Is that even legal?!" Snake's face turned beet red and he snatched the laptop to cover the screen away from Marth. "JUST IGNORE IT IT'S NOTHING! You didn't see anything!"

"B-but-"

"YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!" Snake frantically pressed some buttons and slammed the laptop back on the table, the wallpaper was now one of Ariel the Mermaid.

"Why did you chose that?" asked Marth.

"Don't question your teacher!" Snake opened up a window and went to youtube. "Now this is the internet." he explained in a simple tone one would use to an oblivious 5 year old. Or an ignorant 21 year old Altean. Marth nodded and stared at the screen intensely, trying to analyze the screen.

"This is where you can search stuff up, like videos mostly, then write annoying comments about how stupid a certain 17 year old singer is."

"Oh ok... I think I'm beginning to understand the purpose of the internet."

"Good. Now I'll show you how to watch a video. You click on the search box with the magical little arrow, type whatever you wanna watch with the magical keyboard, and click 'enter'. Here, I'll show you an example." Snake typed the name and pressed enter. The screen switched to the search results and Marth gazed at it in wonder before Snake clicked on a video.

The window switched again to where a black square covered most of the screen. Marth waited patiently for a few moments wondering what magical things he will witness.

"Oppa Gangnam Style!" The video appeared in place of the little black box and Marth fell back out of his chair his heart pounding in horror. He stood quickly and drew his sword again. "That man! We have to get him out he's trapped in the evil box! Help me Snake!"

"Wait Marth! He's not-" too late. Marth stabbed his sword straight through the screen and proceeded to slash at it as Snake could only gape in agonizing horror. He stopped after the laptop was reduced to nothing but tin chunks of expensive junk. "Huh? Where is the man why hasn't he come out yet? What sorcery is this?!"

"YOU FREAKING IDIOT! HE WASN'T TRAPPED IN THE SCREEN IT WAS JUST A VIDEO! THAT CRAP COST ME 5,000 DOLLARS!"

"Oh... oops."

Attempt #2

Snake grumbled and brought out another laptop after a moment. This one was less expensive than the other one, it was a crappy old apple laptop he stole from Lucario, no one would mind. His baby, Marth ruthlessly murdered it! It was from Japan too! JAPAN for goodness sake! It was a one of a kind work of art that anyone that even saw it was lucky enough to see it once in their lifetime, imagine the honor that must have came with possessing such an advanced piece of technology? And now it was dead. Murdered. Gone. Thanks to a certain 10th century idiot! Or whichever stupid century he was from. Why- if only he could he would strangle the hell out of Marth he could, but the mansion had a stupid "no ruthless killing" policy. This would have to wait, but when the time came he will enjoy taking retribution for his baby.

"Lets try this AGAIN. Mess up this time, and I'll have your head." Marth began to get the impression Snake really liked his fancy tin box, though he couldn't see a difference. They all look the same to him.

Snake turned on the laptop and opened a window, this time he went to facebook. "This is facebook." He explained. "It's a magical place where you can talk to anyone from around the world, or someone you know but you're just too lazy to talk to them in person."

"Okay, I understand." said Marth. "I still do not understand something though, how exactly does this function? I mean, were it truly magic Zelda would have been able to help me. But her attempt failed. I'm beginning to think this is ot magic, but if it isn't, what is it"

"About time you ask." said Snake, taking another cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up. "It's not a 'magic box' like you call it. It's technology. It works on a different type of energy and it's more limited, but just as effective as your magic."

"I see..." said Marth. "What kind of energy does this 'technology' work on?"

"Electricity." said Snake "Or intense heat energy. It is channeled through a series of wires to the device that allows it to function properly. This lap top for example, like every other laptop runs on electricity. It has to be charged every day, otherwise it won't work."

"I get it." said Marth.

"Good. That's what those little holes in the wall you see all over the mansion are for. You use a charger to connect it from the laptop from the energy source."

"That's... interesting. So is that what they're for... I always thought they were for putting silverware in"

Why the hell would anyone think that?! "Good thing I told you then." said Snake. The Altean was finally beginning to understand, so he thought. Snake couldn't help but feel a little bit proud for being such a good teacher. He should have become a teacher instead of a top secret government guy, after all he heard Samus digged guys that were good with kids and people. Then maybe she'll accept his proposal.

He took his modern, shiny metalic gun from his holster to show off to Marth, partially to show hmi what a real work of technological art looks like but mostly to just show off. Marth looked at the device in wonder. "Is that technology too?"

"Yes it is." said Snake pride dripping in his voice. "It's the new generation 5,000mx model, it can shoot bullets at 900 miles per hour and has perfect accuracy technology. On top of it all, you don't need to charge it or anything, its solar powered."

"Fascinating." Said Marth as he oggled over it in childish fascination. Marth did recall seeing Snake using it during matches. This whole time he dismissed it as a magical tool or something of the sorts. Just how much had he been missing out on? All these fancy gadgets and tools he has been presented with today, yet he never knew they existed. Maybe that's why Ike was so attracted to the magic box, It held unknown powers and possibilities, it was very tempting.

"Can I see it?" Asked Marth, wanting to hold it and test it's power for himself.

"Sure, just be careful with it." Snake handed Marth his special gun and Marth took it gratefully with both hands, afraid it might break. He lifted it up to his face to examine it closely. Such detailed work it had on what he took as the handle, and the exquisite curves of the tool. He was sure none of his blacksmiths could ever create such a detailed item.

"So it's like an arrow but it shoots magical stones" he mused. Snake nodded. "That's right."

"I see..." Marth pointed the gun at himself to look in the tiny hole at the front. "Hey be careful with that!"

Marth was too entertained to heed his advice, he pointed around for a while before pointing the gun at Snakes foot and pulling the trigger.

Attempt#3

Snake came back to the library an hour later in crutches. That stupid Altean shot the bullet straight through his damn foot! What was up with that guy didn't he get anything? Worst of all, Samus heard his girly horrified scream! Now she'll never date him, then after exactly 14 month of dating she will accept his proposal. Then she'd quit brawl with him so they can run off to live a beautiful happy simple life in which she stayed home to cook and clean while he was working in the office. Then she'd be there to greet him when he came back every single day with a kiss, before they have 3 kids: Charlie, Susan, and Abigail. He didn't care if it was a boy or not, it was going to be called Abigail whether it liked it or not! Then they'd watch their kids go off to college and graduate, and grow old together and die together. That's right, he had a plan. But now it was ruined! It took him a year of deliberation and planning to come up with that!

Well anyways, Marth sat patiently in his chair watching Snake hobble his way into the jerk didn't even offer to help him. Snake awkwardly dropped himself onto the chair fuming.

"Look Snake, I am really sorry-"

Snake held up his hand. "No, no it's all fine. Just forget it." he said in an all to calm tone. "Now, back to the internet lesson, let's pick up where we left off" though inside he was really thinking the quicker we finish, the quicker I'll get rid of this accident prone idiot. He pulled the laptop closer to them. "This is Facebook. Now, I went through the liberty of making one for you earlier to save time." Said Snake. Marth nodded. "How do I use this 'Facebook'?"

"That was what I was about to show you, patience." Snake pointed at the little login and password on the screen. "To keep creepers from using your Facebook and hacking your information, you need to put in your username and password. Now, since I made it for you I put your username as 'Marthalicious' and your password is: 'SamusisSnake'swifeforlife'. Remember to memorize it, that's what you'll use to log in."

"Question, why did you choose that as-"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO QUESTION YOUR TEACHER! Now, this is your facebook page." he said "and this is your wall. It's where people post stuff about you and whatever."

Marth looked at the 'wall'. It was empty. Did no one care about him? "Why is it empty if that is the case?"

"You need to add friends." said Snake.

"Why do they call it a wall if there is no wall?" asked Marth curiously "I do not understand it, a wall looks nothing like that, they have their facts wrong." he pointed out.

Snake sighed "It's just a name they use for it, it's not actually a wall."

"But why do they call it a wall if it's not a wall?"

"Because they felt like it."

"But that's wrong don't you think? It can confuse people and it is giving false information."

"IT'S A WALL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

Meanwhile Link was walking down the halls, heading over to he library. He was ashamed of the ruckus he caused earlier with Marth and his magical device. He had injured his friend badly and hasn't even apologized yet. He wished he could have apologized, but Marth was knocked out cold when he stabbed him. Though it was kind of silly for Marth to jump infront of it. It's common sense to get out of the way when someone is charging at your direction with a sword. If it were any other case, Link would not have drawn his sword but this was a special case, it dealt with technology. He couldn't help it, technology was his nemesis after what it did to him in the Lanyaru desert. The giant never ending mazes with those pigmen with the technological electric sticks. The robots, the electric shocks. So many shocks!He felt the rage withing him growing. He sighed. he really needed to calm down. He hoped reading would take his mind off things and help him relax. That's what Zelda does when she's upset or angry, and she's always calm.

Link opened the doors that leaded to the library and took in the welcoming scent of aged books. It brought him back home and he immediately felt at peace with himself. No technology to disturb him, just nice books. Then he turned and saw the laptop. The memories, the electric shocks, THE ELECTRIC SHOCKS WERE SO PAINFUL!

"So that's how you look at a wall." said Snake.

Link drew his master Sword and yelled a battle cry "HYYAHHH!"

"Oh no.. STOP!" Snake and Marth yelled in unison and horror as they scrambled(and hobbled) out of their chairs to get the heck out of his way. Link leaped high into the air and smashed the laptop into pieces, and continued to smash it while yelling out unintelligible sounds.

Snake sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a migraine coming as a pot flew over his head. This was going to be a long day. A VERY long day.


End file.
